Shayne-Michael.COMedy

The Character Of Comedy - by Shayne Michael

"I hate comedians."

Have you ever wondered why so many bookers and comedians themselves repeat this line? Among other problems, comics are whiners. Yet, every minute you spend whining is a minute you waste. It's a minute you could spend marketing, writing, growing or learning. I don't complain about the cost of stage time, what's on TV, my location in the line up, the agents that don't have time for me or who won Last Comic Standing. Between writing my own newsletter, having a day job, producing LAugh Support (The Fan Version), getting on stage and buying a duplex I don't have the time.

If you do have time, you're probably wasting it.

Why Should I Invest In Myself?

Why do I have to pay to go up? Because most comedians take stage time, leave and never so much as buy a drink to support the venue that's supporting them. The question you should ask is "Why should any venue need to require your support in return for their stage time?" And don't answer, "I only support those places that don't require it." That's not the attitude of a professional. It's the attitude of a five-year-old child. If a venue needs to charge a one drink minimum to support their open mic, act thankful and buy two.

Why does HeyLady.Com charge? There are different ways of getting information at this site. They include writing articles, contributing open mic reviews or paying $3 a month. They all have one thing in common; they all involve giving back. "But I'll give back later." Sites like heylady don't exist without your help and support. Decent shows don't exist without the contributions of bookers, publicist, agents, managers, lawyers, costume designers and professional hair stylist. And just saying, "Thanks, I appreciate it," doesn't cut it. Only comics are arrogant enough to feel those who give the least back deserve as much as those who give the most. The ones who contribute to a better industry for everyone are the ones who everyone should look out for first. Those are the people looking out for you all the time.

Why Am I Not On National TV?

Everything on TV sucks. Cancel everything and hire me. Okay. I'm sold. John Ritter's show would have died even if he didn't. His heart condition was just God's way of adding an exclamation mark so that there would be room for you down the line. You're brighter finding a show that you like. Find one you would be motivated to write for instead of constantly whining about all the shows you don't like. At least that would be a productive and potentially profitable use of your time. I didn't like John Laraquette's new show. Do you know why I didn't waste one minute writing about it? What good would it do me? Do you really think the producers would say, "Wait a second, Shayne hates this show let's rethink this"?

I thought the Mullets was dumb college-aged drinking-buddy humor. It might find an audience. Will I whine about that? No, because dumb drunk college students spend a lot of time watching TV. I don't waste my time complaining about the shows I don't like. I use my time learning from the ones I do.

He didn't deserve to win Last Comic Standing? Well America disagreed. I don't really care if you hated Dat Phan, if you don't understand why America disagrees with you, how would I build a hit show around you? You're obviously somewhat out of touch with the average voter. And, even if you're right, smart comedians watch the comics they hate. They ask themselves, "What's so appealing about this jerk?" They come to understand the answer and they learn how to recognize that demographic in their own audience. Then, they learn how to work with audiences. If you like to do drug humor, do you think that you'll win over Carlin's audience by watching Howie Mandel?

Why Can't I Choose The Structure Of The Show?

Why am I up first? I don't know. Maybe the booker knew the crowd would be a rough crowd and needed a good comic to warm them up. Maybe the booker knew you sucked and wanted you up first because he knew the audience doesn't expect much from the first comic. What's the difference? Either way, you're job is to do the best opening set possible. If you hate your job find another one. If you can't maybe you're not qualified for the better position.

You know what's wrong with Latino night? Do you really think there should be no ethnic comedy night? Do you really think there should be no Hispanic or black comedy night? You're unrealistic. You might as well say, okay no more books of blonde, lawyer or light bulb jokes. It's not the ethnic group that makes this concept work, it's the specifically targeted demographic. That's how smart businessmen make a living. They find a niche and fill it. If you're a political comedian and your manager has you headlining frat houses, fire your manager. There's nothing wrong with targeting demographics. Nine times out of ten the only reason the comic complains is they're not represented by that demographic. It becomes one more stage they can't get on. If that's you, stop wining and find another stage you can.

Why should I stay and support the show? By all means leave. Show business is all about you. You're going to write your own sitcom all by yourself. You'll sell your 401K and produce it with your own money. You'll act out all the parts when you produce the pilot. If Dana Carvey can do it in Master of Disguise, why can't you? Comedy is a team sport, even stand up. Watch the credits on any TV special that post-dates 1973. You're not better off rushing to do another three minute open mic on the off chance that industry stopped at Coffee Junction for bagels and tea at 3:00pm than you would by developing a support structure. Besides, what can you get out of watching other comedians facing the same situation you just faced anyway?

Morals: Wait Do They Apply To Me?

Is it wrong to steal a premise? People intuitively know the difference between right and wrong. You know if you're stealing someone else's act and pretending you're just stealing premises. Don't ask someone leading questions because you want someone else to justify actions that make you uncomfortable, especially when they're your own. You know the difference between right and wrong. Moral behavior is the same inside and outside the comedy world. You know which material is yours. The only person you should really be asking who really wrote this joke is you. Don't ask questions when you're mind has already answered it.

When I said I'd be there at 8:00pm I meant 8:45pm. I am the guy on last. Why does that matter? Keep promises. If you're a comic first you're trying to prove that your funny. Now if your word has no meaning, what booker will ever believe you? Second, when you build an act you also build a relationship with the audience. Any relationship requires a degree of trust. Now, if your word is no good, if you're promises have no substance, if you're not the person you pretend to be, how will the audience bond with you long enough to buy into your act? Comedy comes from character. Character comes from integrity. This is the character of comedy and the foundation of every successful career.

Summary Of This Essay:

Comedy is based on negatives. "This is what I hate about my mother. This is what I hate about politics." Still you need to learn to stop being a comedian when you need to be a professional. The most well written joke about the booker choosing the winner of Last Comic Standing to headline over you will not make you the next headliner.

If you waste time writing that snide remark when you should be rehearsing what favor are you doing yourself? Stop whining, start writing. Prove bookers wrong on stage. When you are dealing with the industry stop being a comedian and start being a professional, despite your talent for sarcasm. Be courteous and respectful to everyone the booker allows in their show, despite your personal feelings, political outlooks or internal commentaries. Look at every event as an opportunity to learn and grow and you will always moving faster than your competition.