Shayne-Michael.COMedy

No Premise Is Hack - by Shayne Michael     Response To This Idiocy | All Articles

Did you know if you picked the right subjects your act will not be considered hack comedy? But, if you write about antelopes, you're on a very fresh topic that nobody ever explores. Sure there's a reason nobody explores it. Sure there's a reason they would rather talk about drugs, sex and masturbation. But that reason doesn't matter.

The last thing any comic wants to be known as is a hack. And you don't either. Hack comedy is overdone subject matter. And you must avoid it any way possible. There are two or three essays floating around the internet that explain all the "hack" subjects you could tackle. Chuckle Monkey will even let you list all the topics you should never explore. So what I'm about to say will sound controversial.

Your approach might be hack. The actual jokes you write might be hack. But the premise (or underlying generalization) is never hack. And if you think it is, you're just too lazy to find an original angle. You're not digging into the subject deep enough. Don't believe me? Lets start by debunking this premise at the source.

Airplane food sucks. That's "hack" right? What about a guy who brings his own food on board to profit from the lousy competition? What if he knows the fried brain idea he got from Hannibal is still better than what's being offered by South West? What about the airline food in first class? Is it possible we're just getting their leftovers? Maybe their peanuts come in a jar? The safety lecture is hack, right? What if the it were given by a suicidal stewardess? Wouldn't that speech make you nervous? What if you realized that her "let's live like there's no tomorrow" attitude might make your ultimate goal of joining the "mile high" club a real possibility?

Black people do this; white people do this. We understand everything about this topic. If you're white you have nothing to add about the influence of white culture. If you're black you have nothing to add about the influence of black culture. You just don't know yourself that well and it's not worth exploring. White guys can't dance. Does this mean Black people need a harder drunk driving test? Hey if they've got rhythm, can't I argue they won't fall down as much after eleven beers? Maybe that's a good reason to ask Leroy to be my designated driver. What if I had one beer and Leroy had eleven? I'm white, I have less rhythm and balance so I can't pass that test after one beer. Maybe he Leyroy should drive, until, you consider which driver is more likely to get pulled over. Wait catch-22s don't make good comedy when their based on hack premises.

LA is hack. We've discussed the 405 to death. There is no fresh angle here, right? What about the motorcycles that laugh at us as they pass between two lanes? Has anyone wondered if that's "why" so many motor cycle drivers get killed each year? Maybe, auto drivers just can't stand the fact that Dirty Harry keeps getting to work on time; So, every now and then an auto driver opens a car door, knocks a biker to the pavement and the universe moves back into alignment. What about rude people from New York who get transplanted to LA? Those fish-out-of-water stories are sure "hack"? What if you made that rude outspoken New Yorker pastor of a Catholic Church in LA? No we can't talk about that LA is hack and so are Catholic priests.

What's with that one guy who is always naked in the locker room? That's "hack". What if he works at the gym? What if he were naked and passing out flyers? What about the other guy who's so offended by the naked guys that he wears his trunks into the shower? What if he became friends with the naked employee? What if they were responsible for recruiting new members? No the Odd Couple has already been done and you can't talk about a subjects that were popular in 1976.

You know what pisses me off... That's "hack". Don't talk about the things that make you mad. Anger is "hack". Avoid that emotion all together. You can only talk about happy things. Avoid material about surprise and sadness, those emotions are overdone too. People talk about "happy things" less often, so "happy things" are not "hack" comedy. That's why you should only write comedy from your happy place.... Get real! Do you know why people don't talk about happy things? Because happy things don't make good jokes. Gripes do. Surprises do. Sadness does. Hypocrisy makes great comedy. Catch-22s make great jokes. And, the things that piss you off often make the best jokes. How stupid is it to take one of the key emotions (anger) that creates the best comedy because somebody says "Don't talk about that again because everybody else does"? You know who's saying that, another comic who hates competition.

My girl spends all her time shopping. That's hack. What if she's shopping for a gun? What if that gun and a big insurance policy was her answer to a divorce? That's a clever twist on a "hack" premise about your own relationship with a psycho bitch, which is also considered "hack". It might also be a gripe, so you should really ignore it. You can't even talk about divorce and separation. Those topics are "hack". Don't even discuss it if she left you to join the Marines so she could spend the rest of her life killing men? Jokes about the military are hack anyway.

But wait, don't stop there. Don't say telemarketers are annoying! You can't do it and be original. Don't talk about jerking off. Don't talk about pot. Don't discuss Cocaine. Don't talk about the high school prom. Don't talk about New Yorkers being rude. Don't talk about gays in San Francisco. Don't talk about the weather in California. If an Earth Quake happens in LA today, don't discuss it tomorrow. Don't talk about sex being awkward. Don't write about Gilbert Godfreit being annoying. Don't do impressions of Jack Nickleson, especially if their good. Only bad impressions aren't done enough. And don't tell anyone how your family is like a cross between the Cosbys and the Simpsons.

When you write, every book on creativity tells you to not limit yourself like this. You can argue every topic you could ever write about is "hack". Don't do this to yourself. If you tackle a premise that is "hack", you simply have to work harder to be original. If you write about antelopes, chances are you'll come up with material that's new to everyone. You won't need a fresh angle. The angle, "I'm going to tell some jokes about Antelopes" is original enough.

If you want to talk about airline food, safety lectures, angry police officers, or guys named Bubba in prison you just need to combine an old topic with a fresh approach. Tell me what the safety lecture is like on a plane carrying a load of special ed students with Turrets, Autism and Down's Syndrome. Tell me how the police went to anger management classes and shot the instructor for failing them. Tell me how Bubba was in Solitary and trying to intimidate the guard by saying, "Hey my name's Bubba" only to find out that was the prison guard's name too. When you write off topics as "hack" you're acting lazy. To write about "hack" material you simply need more approaches to avoid the overdone ones. You need more angles and you need more original thoughts.

Why go to all this trouble; because if you can make a "hack" premise sound original, you show a real talent for writing. In fact, you are showing a lot more creativity than it takes to write a fresh bit about antelopes. Anyone can do that.