Shayne-Michael.COMedy

MBA Pickup Lines

Shayne Michael — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:30:00 PST

I'd like to merge assets with yours.
I'll be your return on investment between the sheets.
Let's strip down that spreadsheet.
Want to get a leg up in the corporate world?
There's a financial side to getting freaky.
My balance sheet begins with the babes.
There's a reason our company car is a van.
My water cooler talk would make a nun wet,
and a librarian permanently check out the Joy of Sex.
I'd like to promote you to a position just under me.
Don't listen to those connections between VP and VD.
Our motivational speaker today will be Dr. Ruth.
You can have a lay off, lay up, or lay on? Your decide.

If I'm really your dirty little secret why do you keep writing my name and number on the bathroom walls?

Shayne Michael — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 12:30:00 PST

Shayne, you do realize that April eleventh was nine days ago and you're not fooling anyone?

Shayne Michael — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 12:30:00 PST

Just because you have flashing red lights always doesn't mean you're a real cop.
I assumed that freight trains were suppose to yield the right of way.
Yes I saw the stop sign, but I don't believe everything I read.
Hijack one bus and suddenly all the passengers expect you to drop them off at their stop.
I'm in a hurry. The person in the trunk is having a hard enough time breathing as it is.
I didn't pull over officer, because I never heard you say, "Please."
You have spike strips. I figured if you wanted me to slow down, you'd use them.
This is a Kia. You do realize if I turn off the engine I might never get the car started again?
If I pulled over the owner of this armored car might track me with the onboard GPS.
This is a motor home. I'm pretty sure you need a search warrant before pulling over my home.
If I pulled over, I figured I'd fail the driving test. And I need to get my license back today.

Normally, I'd flirt my way out of this ticket if it weren't for the STDs.

Shayne Michael — Sat, 9 Aug 2008 12:30:00 PST

So, Hansel and Grettle, why did you say that you weren't surprised when your father tried to ditch you in the Ikea store?